Monday, January 14, 2013

Let's talk about pizza

Pizza, you guys. That is one of the very few foods I knew I'd miss when I went primal. Sure, there are recipes out there for "meatza" and coconut flour pizza dough and whatnot, but I am a LAZY pizza addict. I don't want to mess around with making dough, even if the dough is made out of meat. (Okay, I'm just going to say it: meatza sounds so gross to me. I'm sure it's not. It's probably amazing. But I just can't, y'all.) I am not a make-it-from-scratch pizza person. I'm more a call-whatever-place-has-a-coupon person. Or a stick-it-in-the-microwave-and-call-it-done person. When I want pizza, I want pizza NOW.

So. What to do, what to do? I started thinking about cheats I could use for the crust. Just layer a bunch of zucchini ribbons, maybe? Pizza-flavored crustless quiche? Stick all the toppings in a bowl, nuke them, and eat them with a spoon? I was getting a little desperate.

And then the lightbulb went off. I like mushrooms on my pizza ... what if I used a really BIG mushroom for the "crust"? Kind of like those English muffin pizzas I used to love making back in high school? Yeah!

Primal Portabella Pizza

1 reasonably large portabella mushroom
olive oil
pizza toppings of your choice

This is so stupid easy it doesn't really require a recipe, but for those of you who, like me, are more comfortable with step-by-step instructions:

Take a portabella mushroom, brush it clean, carefully remove the stem and any overlapping spongey bits from the underside, rub it all over with olive oil and broil it gills-up for about 5-7 minutes. You want it a bit tender but not completely cooked. Remove from broiler, layer on your toppings, then stick it back under the broiler until the cheese is all melty and the toppings are cooked to your liking. (That one in the photo is a little underdone, but I was hungry. I couldn't wait.)

That's it! You'll probably have to eat this with a knife and fork but I'm telling you, if you like mushrooms on your pizza you will never miss the crust with one of these babies. One makes a yummy snack, one (or two) plus a big salad makes a meal.

And just like with the Not Ramen from yesterday, this can easily be made vegetarian or vegan depending on your topping choices (Daiya cheese, anyone?).

I am never giving up pizza, you guys.


  1. Been reading your blog since the "Make Your Own Damn Dinner" days and am really looking forward to seeing what Paleo recipes you share!

  2. I tried your mushroom pizza idea the other day using little field mushrooms and they were fantastic. They were also bite sized - perfect for parties.

    Thank you for the inspiration. I was missing a fast solution for pizza dough and mushrooms are an excellent solution!